You know that sharp weird tight pain you get deep in your ear when you nose is blocked sometimes and even if you not currently having it you can still feel the pre pain tension and you know it is gonna hurt next time you breathe in too much of blow your nose but there is no way of knowing when it is or isn’t gonna happen
Yea
I hate that
I also hate many other things
Like when abled bodied white people pick a cause and advocate for it violently without considering the intricacies of it and how it may effect actual marginalized people because they are too busy jerking themselves off for being a good person
God ur such a grumpy bitch
Grumpy butch
I don’t fucking know
Almost everytime you go out even a little bit femme you get harassed
When you go butcher you generally get ignored which is nicer tbh
But you feel uglier
You need to get back on the pill
Unrelated
Excactly you have enough troublesome relatives and you are dreaming like you are in your teens again
So much snot man
Not as much snot as you have criticism and resentment for your mother though
Get older and it unravels revealing worse
Makes you feel smaller though you are older
Is that child alone then shouldn’t be alone
Oh thank god fucking ear crackle
I got hiccups and reflux, it is a dangerous game
I got two hollow teeth at either side at the back, they were root canals but the filling came out and thankfully they are so long dead they don’t hurt, I can’t afford a dentist and the hc1 form makes me want to die. I am not entitled to anything I should rot in the ground. I always need toothpicks, it is gross. I am gross. Go that is a lot to unpack. But where to put it when you already take up too much space.
I shaved my legs for the first time in years and it was enjoyable but they itch, each one says ‘you were just isecure about getting your hairy legs out in public, you can be fat or hairy not both’. I tell myself I am allowed to choose to have leg hair or not. The regrowth stings and itches. When soft I am still the only one that touches them. Of course it doesn’t make em sad I am the only one I am comfortable with
The right side of my scalp probably looks like the surface of the moon or mars I don’t know. Once I get started picking I cant stop. It is as hard at starting t go to sleep. I cant stop until it weeps. At least part of us can weep. It is gross. I shed it is gross. You are so gross just stop it.
Flakey
Antidandruff
Short nails and still she goes until it bleeds
Then to the shower until it stings
Everything stings
Maybe that is why I am not so scared of wasps
How long has it been since you fished for praise
Never stop always be looking for praise because you dad could never love you enough and mum could never pay attention
Love meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Scream it from the roof tops
Carve it into your forehead and give everything to everyone and enventually one of them will love you back and fill you with attention and praise
Or
Get high on it until your tolerance become too high
A mountain of praise is never a parent a grandparent
Classic case or cases it seems. Is it even confidence or have you become so detached
Earliest memories are of distance and detachment and dreams calling for help only for those you are supposed to trust to hurt you
Those dreams have come back
You can’t glue two bodies of water together let alone five and only a child would try
An idiot
A twat
Cant help it though, just as we keep digging through out hair hoping to reach the brain and find a clue
She also calls her mum and has to know everything and wants to help or control which ever but she wants it better and functional
I cant walk for more than a minute without my bones tuning to dark matter and clawing my muscles into the concrete whilst I go blind and deaf and cry through my skin
Well that’s a bit bloody dramatic isn’t it?
Pretentious twat.
Doesn’t even know exactly what pretentious means but will google it and forget